Happy Being Me

Image courtesy of HealthWorks

*Cough, cough* Goodness--I just wiped the cobwebs off this thing. It's been a hot minute, and a lot has happened in the interim. For starters, I got a new job that has completely changed the way I prioritize my time. This blog has not made the cut--but I've missed it.

Other things have happened, things that have caused me to seriously evaluate myself. More than at any other eventful period in my life (perhaps), this phase has revealed to me that the world outside myself can really get me wrong. I've dealt with guilt (self- and otherwise imposed) for having even less time with Mini Mo each day than I had before, for having to depend on even more people to help take care of her (so blessed to have wonderful folks in my life), for having a tough time figuring out dinner most nights, for having even less inclination to de-shamble my house. I've been planning to fantabulize Mini Mo's room since before she was born, and I haven't really gotten around to it--two and half years later.

Yet, I'm proud of myself and I like myself. I dared to try something new in my life, and I'm more fulfilled because of it. I recognize my shortcomings and am cool with myself in spite of them. I teach, converse with, listen to, discipline, indulge, learn from and treasure Mini Mo. I try to make sure my whole family gets quality time together and to simply show love, even with our ridiculously busy schedules. I let my hubby know that our relationship, as the root of our family, is paramount. I'm smart, I'm funny (sometimes in ways that only I understand), I'm kind and I'm pensive. I'm working to help others--and I'm a work in progress.

But sometimes the world outside myself can make me question my plusses, the extent to which I like my otherwise confident self, and downright judge me like nobody's business. It gets to be pretty heavy at times. So the other day, I got real with myself and said, "Self, sometimes you have to encourage yourself, and you have to take some time to be happy with yourself." The time I spent doing both of those things was invaluable, and I have a new commitment to them, to myself. More importantly, I think this attention to myself will make me a better woman, wife, mother, friend and person.

I'm not perfect, but I'm feeling myself--and I'm not counting on others to do that for me. I simply don't have time.

Mommy Moment: Thinking about Mini Mo

There's a spark of magic in your eyes.

Candyland appears each time you smile.

Never thought that fairy tales came true,

But they come true when I'm near you.

You're a genie in disguise

Full of wonder and surprise...

If you're a soul head like I am, you recognize those lyrics from "Betcha By Golly Wow" by the soul group the Stylistics (also nicely covered by Prince and Phyllis Hyman). I've been singing this song to Mini Mo for months now, to the point that she can now sing along (as much as a 21-month-old can). We often sing this song together during her bath time, as we did tonight. 

During our duet, I couldn't help but look at her happy, smiling, singing face and reflect on how blessed I am to have her in my life. Those lyrics are so true for me and my baby, and it's not always easy to remember that when she's showcasing the "fiercer" of her personality traits. I wrote on this blog a while ago that I would tell you all about Mini Mo's developing personality; now we're approaching two years! Late as I am, here's a list of words I often use to describe my child:

Exhibiting "strong-willed"

• strong-willed
• assertive
• diva
• happy
• smart
• funny
• silly

Exhibiting "silly" on Memorial Day

Exhibiting "happy," right after being silly with Mommy

That was right off the top of my head, and the top three are generally the ones I use most frequently. This is a habit I want to watch out for, as it could demoralize her as she grows. The thing is: these traits are highly problematic when this toddler's antics are preventing us from making progress, whether it's getting dressed, getting fed, or getting out of the house. These antics cause us to "bump heads" sometimes--because some of these traits are exhibited by the other lady of the house (ahem).

Still, when she's not a toddler (and even while she is, kinda), these traits will represent a very strong young woman. I'm already proud of my amazing girl, but I will be so proud of this self-assured woman who knows what she wants and won't take any crap from anybody, especially some knuckle-headed boy. (That was another mommy moment. Ha ha.)

So, as I work on finding the silver linings in my child's sometimes challenging personality, it helps to think about the fact that, for me, she really is a fairy tale come true--full of wonder and lots of surprise. 

Check out the Stylistics performing "Betcha By Golly Wow" in 1975 (courtesy of YouTuber HAYASEZA0602):