I tell Mini Mo that she's beautiful several times a day, every day: "Good morning, beautiful!" "Hey, pretty girl!" "What's my beautiful girl doing?" I often follow one of these greetings with, "You're beautiful, but that's not the most important thing about you. What's in your head and heart count the most, and remember that your beauty doesn't make you better or more special than anyone else." Mini Mo's only 4 months old, but these lessons must start early! Lol.
So Mini Mo hears these things from Mommy all the time, but I don't often think about the fact that Daddy's doing the same thing. This morning, when Daddy first saw his daughter, he kissed her and said, "Hey, beautiful." It was so sweet to watch them greet each other and bond, Mini Mo touching Daddy's face and smiling. *Sigh*
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| A 2-week-old Mini Mo, holding Daddy's hand--well, finger :-) |
It's so important that our girls know that they're beautiful, and I think it's especially important that they hear it from their fathers. After all, if they're blessed to have their fathers, these men will be the most important males in their lives for years. Daddy's affirmations, then,
and the lack thereof, can speak volumes in terms of these girls' self-esteem. When a loving father lifts up his daughter every day, I bet it'll be harder for some knuckle-headed boy to tear that down later on. She'll know how she should be treated and loved and hopefully won't accept anything less than that. Keep it up, Daddy!
I am so with you, Mo! I love that Mini Mo is getting such wonderful affirmations from her daddy. (Also, as a side note, she's getting them from Mrs. A.Hab, too. ;)) I've been talking with Robert about his role in our future girl's future, and I deeply believe that he will do just as you're calling for. A father's praise and affirmation, not just of a girl's physical beauty but of all the things that make her beautiful, are incalculably significant. My father and I have a strained relationship that didn't fare well during my preteen and teen years. Once I got to college and realized I had valid opinions, our relationship faltered more. Lately, though, I think we've been trying to mend our bridges. I don't want Mel to know what that's like with her daddy. I want her to believe it when Robert tells her that he's so proud of her or that he thinks she's a beautiful person in all the ways that count the most.
ReplyDeleteI think for many girls, we love our mommies because of that feminine bond that's so easy to forge. But we need our daddies, too. Our daddies teach us how to be treated by other men, as you point out. And I think your theory is right--if daddy has treated his little girl with a certain standard, there's no way she would tolerate anything less than that by some panty-chasing creep.
Mini Mo is a very blessed little girl to have you two as her parents. :)
So true! I saw this more often when I taught middle/high school than anywhere else, particularly in middle school, when they were starting to deal with all that hateful stuff from each other. I had girls who had clearly heard they were beautiful all their lives, and it makes such a difference in how they carried themselves and what they would and wouldn't put up with from guys. The ones who had no such support at home just couldn't deal with everything they heard from others. My heart broke for them.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky enough to have a daddy who treasures me and thinks everything I am and do is wonderful. I remember being little and seeing him come home from work, kiss my mom, and immediately get down on the floor to play with me and ask about my day. (Like a three or four year old has a day.) I've been "Sunshine" my whole life, and I feel better whenever I hear it. It's amazing how important that attention is from your father when you're a girl. Don't get me wrong, Mama is fantastically supportive of me, but I've realized that I probably wouldn't be where I am without him.
I'm with A.Hab. Mini Mo is super blessed to have both of y'all--parents who treasure her, and better yet, are conscious of how their decisions affect her.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go call my Daddy. :)
Wonderful insights, ladies! Thank you for sharing and for your sweet comments about Daddy and me. We're just going to do our best!
ReplyDeleteCori, I hope your talk with your Daddy was oh-so-sweet!